Sunday, June 6, 2010

RE:cipe

after my previous post the ever talented, ax and apple axed in a comment, 'what kinda cookies?'.  i thought i'd go ahead and provide you all with the actual recipe handed down to me from hands in the sky.

*what you will need to make austin cookies:


flour.
baking soda.
baking powder.
oats.
bran.
butter.
brown sugar.
2 eggs.
chocolate morsels.
raisins.
sliced almonds.
big sun-glasses or purple wig. 


*to make austin cookies:

preheat oven to 350 degrees
3 parts flour (i use a 1/2 cup scooper so each 'part' will mean 1, 1/2 scooper)
3 dips oats ('dips' also mean 'parts'')
1/4 bran
1 teaspoon of baking soda
1 teaspoon of baking powder

~mix them lovelies together with some sort of spoon or relative mixing device, a banana would probably work fine.  whatever you have around that's stick like.   nothing with lead at the tip though.

~insert a stick of butter into your microwave for 55 seconds.  it helps to cut that sucker into sections so it will melt down easier; like 1/4 inch slices.

~once out of the microwave add 3 scoops of brown suga to your bowl.  mix it in real good with the butta.  this is your money maker right here.  this is where the full flavor comes from.  make sure you sing to it.  i've found my best cookies prefer elton john songs.  guess that's why they call it the blues or daniel.  wear big glasses if you have them too. not necessary though in a crunch.

~get two eggs outta your refrigerator and mix 'em up.  beat those eggs like you're angry at them; to a pulp.

~pour your butter and sugar mix into the dry mix and stir all the while. go ahead and pour in those battered eggs for the hell of it.

~after you have a nice conglomerate of stickiness and beautiful texture you're gonna wanna add in some chocolate and nuts because all good things come from the transcendent union of chocolate and nuts.
really you could add as much chocolate as you wanted, of any kind (semi-sweet or milk chocolate ,whatever)  just make sure it's at least 3 scoops for mary's sake.  who's mary?  i don't know.
i add about 2 scoops sliced almonds.

~add about a scoop and a half of some raisins, both dark and golden if you got'em.  goldens are a nice surprise.

that's about when you're going to need to stir all that wonderfulness together.  meet and greet those ingredients.  roll out those morsels of bliss in whatever imaginative shapes you want.

i usually can get two dozen full bodied treats from this ratio in two baking pans.
you should butter the pans before putting down the spoonfuls of your mixture to avoid any sticking.
bake for about 10-12 minutes.
if you have any chocolate left over you can heat it up a bit in a pan and drizzle it over the cookies with a spoon for extra chocolate goodness.  let sit for a couple minutes before spreading them all over your faces.

repeat as often as you like.

3 comments:

Jim said...

read that with a Paula Deane accent!

ax+apple said...

hhahhaha... aMAzing.

Austin Dodson said...

that's pretty darn close to where i was thinking actually! writing this i got to imagining my own cooking video with deep hick accent and lots of non sequitur rants. there'd be someone coming in every now again walking thru frame just swatting air.

maybe you could come on the show as a guest one week and we could talk about pool side gossip or our recent ultra-saturated hair color dye jobs?
i'm seeing seeries.